22-year-old Woman is Exhausted by Friend’s Relationship-Hopping Tendencies: ‘With Every Relationship, There's Always Plans on Moving in Together in an Entirely Different State Qith No Real Savings on Her End at Least’

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Olivia Arocena • Writer and Editor
Sep 24, 2026 1:45 PM EDT

I know it can be frustrating. Of course, someone who hasn't lived through this issue with a friend can say that we should let them do whatever they want, and we do; that's not the problem

It's just that we often stop having a friend and end up with someone who constantly asks for our advice, and then disappears to prioritize their romantic relationship.

We only see them when their relationship is going south or when they're single; we get excited, then it happens again, and they fall head over heels for someone they've known for two weeks, tops.

Sure, it's their life, and they can choose what to prioritise, but what should we do as friends? Remain at their beck and call forever? To me, that contradicts friendship.

Maybe this friend has to reconsider whether she can sustain a relationship with someone who behaves like this. Of course, I'm not the type of person who always advises cutting people off; otherwise, we would be left with no relationships, because everyone is different and we all go through hard times. But I do advise reevaluating the importance we give to some friendships over others. We shouldn't prioritise people who don't prioritise us; it hurts everybody involved.

As friends, when we think someone very dear to us is making a mistake, all we can offer is our opinion and step back. We should offer help and support in what they decide to do. If our friend then decides to do something else, it's their life, and we should be able to move on; after all, they aren't our property. If we can't do that, maybe we should keep the relationship at arm's length, because overinvestment is toxic.

Some people grow out of relationship hopping; some don't. For some people, it's how they choose to live life. I have friends who live like this. It's their decision, and as long as they're not hurting anybody, it's fine!

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    via Obie Fernandez

    Stop the serial monogamy

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  • AITJ? My friend is a relationship hopper and I am getting tired of being involved

    I (F22) have a friend (F22) that finds it hard to be single. The first time I was around when she dated someone was senior year of high school. It was a guy she met on a dating app that
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  • lived an hour away. She met him February and quickly slept with him. The next few weeks she bought then promise rings. The next month they met each other's parents and the following month they
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  • go to prom together. She then confesses to me a week later that she doesn't think she likes him but he's a good guy. She then told me she's talking to someone else. I am not the girl who supports women's wrongs so I told
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  • her she needs to do the right thing and break up with him because it's unfair. She did and the following few months was a sh show of bulls Tinder relationships. I wouldn't
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  • care, except for the fact that every single relationship she thinks is serious. It's become a pattern. She'd be with them for a few weeks, buy promise rings then make up this
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  • elaborate plan to move in together within 3-6 months. During this time she would complain to me about things "wrong" in the relationship even if it's not necessarily wrong and is more likely an incompatibility issue. I've
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  • Cheezburger Image 10665368832
    via Samantha Gades

    Her friend two weeks after meeting the guy

    Model portrayal



     

  • noticed its always often times when they are supposed to move in together supposedly. With every relationship, there's always plans on moving in together in an entirely different state with
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  • no real savings on her end at least. Her relationships frustrate me because not only is it hard to see your friend consistently makes stupid decisions and move too quickly but also ignore
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  • your advice every time or make our every hangout about her relationship at the time. I don't live in our hometown for the time being because of college. and although its only an hour we find it hard to meet up because life
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  • happens. When she's single she's great and the friend I had in high school, but when she's in a relationship she's never available to even text because she's too preoccupied in her
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  • relationships or when we do hang it's short and we only talk about her current partner. I want to support her but her relationships never go anywhere so sometimes I feel like being put in the back burner every time
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  • hurts even more. I know I should probably drop her, she's not my only friend however I never expressed
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  • this to her. I don't know how to not make it sound like I am just jealous or hating on her. Am I the J for feeling this way? Is this a part of adulthood?
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  • MunchOnMyCookie NTJ but communicate that you don't want to talk about relationships. I understand how annoying it can be when it's always a topic of conversation every hang out
    via MunchOnMyCookie
  • Mission-Pin-1934 You are both so young. I was like her in my youth as many people are. Don't worry, it won't be like this in a few years. Don't dump your friend because of it. Things will settle down.
    via Mission-Pin-1934
  • Consistent_Lie_3484 Yeah, YTA, you're way too invested. Stop giving advice to her and make more friends
    via Consistent_Lie_3484
  • Cheezburger Image 10665369344
    via Zoe

    How can you give advice without getting too involved?

    Licensed media provided as editorial context



     

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friendship relationship advice friends relationships toxic relationship relationship drama
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